My Weight Loss Story… Proves it’s possible

People ask me ALL the time in one form or another “How did you lose all that weight?”  Well, I’m going to share my story. 

I’ve always liked working out, though I do have a tendency to get pretty lazy.   And I love eating healthy food.  But I also love unhealthy food.  Well, I just love food. 

When I was in the USAF, I was in a position where exercise was required, so it wasn’t that hard for me to become motivated, because I always had that one goal in mind… to pass my PT test.  I also had some pretty cool people around me that liked working out as well.  In my mind, they were a challenge to me, because I’m not one who wants to be outdone.  Mind you, I never felt that I was competing with them; they just made me realize that I could be doing better than how I was.  Because of that, I was able to develop a fitness standard for myself that worked for me and actually kept me healthy and in shape. 

Once I left the military however, I hit a slump somehow.  The stress of adjusting to civilian life did not motivate me to care about too many things.  I was busy trying to figure out how I was going to survive.  I would still go running, but I was not paying attention to my diet.  I would eat whatever was around me because for one reason or another I did not care. 

About a year later, I began interacting with someone who soon became a good friend.  I knew he stayed energized and he stayed in the gym.  During one of our conversations, he mentioned that he had trained people in the gym in the past.  He told me a few success stories, and I was immediately impressed.  I shelved this knowledge like the human catalog that I am and stored for future use.  During this time, also, he knew of my desire to lose weight and get fit, but he also knew that I was lacking motivation and was not very serious about my intent. 

Well, one day, a few months later (after having gone clothes shopping and realizing that I went up yet another size), I came back to him and asked him if he was willing to train me.  The first time I asked he said I wasn’t ready.  That’s all I needed to hear.  How dare he and how does he know???  I wanted to make sure he wasn’t right, so I prepared my mind for what was ahead of me in my quest to get fit.  A couple months after that, I asked again.  This time, he said it again, but he added, “Only if you’re serious.  Don’t waste my time.”  I took that to heart.  He instructed me to begin doing cardio and to hit him up in a couple of weeks. 

This takes me to January 2010.  I signed up for membership at his gym and there, we began a personal trainer/trainee relationship.  My very first day, I did not expect it to be so vigorous (he really was serious!!!).  I had not eaten all day and was somewhat dehydrated.  I almost PASSED OUT!!  I know he thought “This woman is crazy!”  I stuck with it because I was determined to get back into the size that I desired to wear.  I continued working with him for the next 12 months!!  It took six of them for me to lose 40 lbs!  I was further amped by my co-workers, family, and friends constantly remarking about the significant changes that I could not notice at first.  After awhile, even I had to admit that my clothes were simply too big for me.  I think I shocked even myself at how serious I had become.  That year consisted of me working out six days a week.  3 days, I ran 5 (and later 6) miles and the other 3 I did cardio and strength training.  I also monitored my eating habits and made sure whatever my intake was did not interfere with my progress.  My story is that I was only exercising 1 HOUR a day and I was able to reach my goal. 

My hope is to inspire others and to show that it is truly possible to develop a healthy lifestyle.  I still thank everyone who helped in this journey.  Because of a few key people, this was not hard.  In fact, it was actually fun.  I got to the point where I looked forward to the gym in the evening and felt bad if I wasn’t able to make it that particular day.  My PT would tell you… I would fight many obstacles (even him sometimes) to get to where I wanted to be.  I’m glad he was supportive of that.

Several things I learned are:

·    It’s VERY hard to do it alone—support definitely helps. 
·    Even if motivation is external, true dedication and desire has to be internal.
·    Persistence and patience over even the toughest obstacles is very necessary.
·    Achieving personal fitness goals happens in small steps—the ultimate achievement is awesome.
·    Tending to your personal well-being is a lifestyle, not a hobby… it’s not temporary, it’s for life!                

The benefits are wonderful.  It feels so good to be healthy.  It feels good to look fit.  It feels good to know that I can tell people that it’s not impossible.  It feels good to know that others have been inspired and look to achieve the same goals knowing they are within reach.  When I first started, I had so many doubts, but I chose not to give into them. 

I’m a firm believer that we are responsible for taking care of each other.  But I also believe that this is tough to do if you are not taking care of yourself first.  Taking care of your health IS taking care of those around you because you can’t help them if you aren’t making it a priority. 

And THIS is why I’m hot!  :-)

It’s Not You, It’s them… Until…

When Maya Angelou first said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them,” she was not lying!  I swear on everything golden when a person tells you and shows you their character, DO NOT IGNORE THEM!!  We always worry about getting caught in game or catching feelings for someone that is no good for us, but if you don’t take heed to these words, you have a good chance of losing that battle.  I know this for a fact because I’m currently in the process of battling regret over letting someone who did not deserve to get that close to me get THAT close.  That saying, “It’s not you, it’s me” is also true… until you let them get away with treating you less than how you deserve to be treated.  How do you know when that’s happening you say?  I’m glad you asked!  When you find yourself letting someone cross your boundary and make you feel uncomfortable about treating you a certain way, it’s you.  If you have sex with someone you like and you KNOW the feeling is not mutual, it’s you.  If you knowingly let a person TELL you what they want from you and you still continue to pursue more, it’s you.  It’s been me.  And it absolutely suxx when it’s me.

The point is, it doesn’t have to be you.  Every person is born with a personality and between nature and nurture people develop a way of treating people.  So when you first interact with a person, you may or may not be dealing with their actual selves, but in time you will have no choice but to see them for who they are.  Once that happens, you can then choose to decide if this person is worthy of a relationship (however it develops) with you.  I always try to offer my authentic self when I meet people because I don’t believe in lying.  That’s not to say that I reveal everything in the first meeting because I have a broad range of personality and I’m not always sure what people can handle.  I tend to let their personality guide me so I have a good feel of what we are capable of sharing.  This may be me trying to gain some control or perspective of the situation, but so what.  I deserve to know what I am dealing with.  I’ve learned that over time, I’m pretty good about gauging people’s energy and can identify if they are someone I am willing to let in my life.  With this, I am empowered to know that if I willingly let someone into my space, I have to accept my responsibility in the relationship.  Where I get stupid, though, is when my instincts tell me to kick it in high gear and bounce… and I go nowhere.  Red flags are not hard to identify even if you are not paying attention.  It’s those dang cautionary amber flags that can make you take pause and excuse a situation.  Red flags make you realize that you absolutely do not deserve such treatment.  When you’ve come across them, duh, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.  When you come across an amber flag, however, you may slow down and become cautious… but don’t pass go until you are sure you are clear on how to proceed.

My whole thought is this: it takes two to tango.  Typically, during the question and answer, or “getting to know you” portion of the relationship, you have to make sure you are gaining the right information to identify how the person fits into your big picture.  If they don’t, then fine, let them go… no hard feelings.  If they do or can fit in, cool, but make sure you take your time to figure out how.  Don’t listen to just what you want to hear, but also what they want you to know and what they are ACTUALLY saying.  If their actions don’t align with what they are telling you, or their vibe is putting you on guard, don’t proceed until you are sure of the message they are putting across.  Don’t get hemmed up over the superficial stuff that won’t actually matter in the long run anyway.  Passing go through a yellow flag without clearing up the concerns tells the person to feel free to treat you how they choose to.  You are worth far more than that.  Put up that stop sign and chill  until they are clear on how best to treat you.  You deserve nothing less.

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Let the Haters Hate

For the past couple of years, I have been hearing the term “hater”… and think it’s somewhat strange that most people seem to think they have one and actually care about who their haters are.  While it’s true that they do exist, I don’t believe that everyone has one.  Well.  Not by the definition that we like to use for “hater”.  There is a difference between being hated on and simply not being liked.  In my opinion… since I’m not sure there is an ‘official’ definition, a hater is someone that {attempts to} weaken another person’s progress just for the heck of it.  Now.  I want you to sit back and think about that.  Why do you think YOU are worthy of someone actually hating on you for no reason?  Because if you’ve given a person a reason to dislike you… from your personality to something you’ve done to the person, then you are simply being disliked for a reason.  Maybe you do have a hater.  Maybe it’s because of something you’ve accomplished that they are jealous of, or just because of that person’s perception of you.  What does that say about you?  Absolutely nothing.  If anything, it says more about that person and how they feel about themselves then it does for you as a person.  So, now you are excited because someone is hating on you for an imperceptible reason?  You find contentment in knowing that something about you disables someone else’s self-esteem?  Now, that says something about you.

Get ya Self-Esteem game up…

This will do two things for you.  First, it will help you identify your strengths and enable you to draw upon them to develop healthy relationships with yourself and with others.  Second, it will make your haters irrelevant.  That is if they exist. And if they don’t, you won’t care.  People who have a healthy sense of self don’t spend time trying to determine if people dislike them for no reason or give too much energy into actually caring about those people.  I don’t like everyone on this planet, and I am sure not everyone I’ve come across likes me.  But I can find better use of the energy that I have than to care about them in the sense that they affect my everyday.  I’m not saying that I don’t possess empathy for their distresses or situations that hurt them.  I just don’t care that they don’t like me.  That’s too much power to give someone! Someone that does not have my best interest at heart does not deserve that power so I don’t let them own it.  Anyways, your time is better spent focusing on the people that love and care about you and doing things that really matter to you.  Make the right things and the right people important and relevant.  Remember that not everyone is going to agree with you or care about things you care about.  That doesn’t make you or your passions irrelevant.  It means they don’t fit into that vision.  You want to be truly happy?  Put your hater blockers on and keep it moving.

Getting Started (3/12/2011)

The first step is getting over the fear.  It’s recognizing that if God ordained your steps, then you are not actually going to fall, even if it feels like it!  When God is telling you to do something, sometimes I think He knows that it may take awhile for us to step up, but when He’s ready for you, those soft taps become hard knocks.  We all know about the hard knocks.  Those are the ones that make us feel uncomfortable and put us in a position where we have no choice but to react.  It’s where our fears will either become verified and take over or we choose to confront them head on and realize they are just illusions.

 

Today, I am going to start writing.  Typing whatever is in my head so that I can smoothly migrate into a blogging lifestyle and pursue dreams.  Today, it’s time to stop letting my dreams remain in my mind and start becoming a part of my real world.  Today, I want to start telling people about how great they are and how important it is to shake the haters off and to realize that your biggest fan is looking you in the mirror every single day.  Learning how to integrate mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual growth and development will help you learn how to create a true and strong relationship with others involving love, care, trust, and respect.  At the end of the day, if you don’t offer these things to yourself, you can’t honestly expect it to be offered by others.

The Ceiling that Shattered

I have always been an avid reader. And because I love to read, I developed a fine love for words… for when they are put together well enough, I am drawn to the emotion of the sentence. A few simple words can make an individual laugh, cry, or get downright mad. A couple of nights ago, instead of reading, I had the pleasure of hearing some great words from what will become our great nation’s next great President. President-elect Obama’s victory speech seared with a passion that could only come from his heart. From the soul of this man, I heard a true desire to not only be equal on our great land, but united. To end the bitterness that has driven through the very fibers of our beings due to the torturous and segregated and tumultuous plights of our ancestors. I heard on that day that I can feel free to release the anger, distrust, and distaste borne from the happenings of our ancestors. On this day, it is okay to encourage my neighbor, to praise my sister, to lift up my brother, and love my fellow American. On this day, I am no longer fighting to be equal. On this day, I truly feel American. So now, as we begin this transition we must unite. Stand together not as a White American or a Black American, but just be. American. I am so proud of the people that chose to select this man as President. But I am also proud of those who voted for his opponent. We all have a voice, and we all have the right to be heard. Now it is time to realize that the competition is over, unity is necessary, and the work will be hard but required. We grew up hearing that United we Stand, but DIVIDED WE FALL. So stand up, stand tall, and stand proud! Because together we are the USA. Obama, himself, said that there is no White America, and no Black America. There is no Jewish America or Christian America. No Latino America or Asian America. We are the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. There is a lot of pain in our past, but my plea to you is to let it go so there will be much joy in our future. Fundamental differences may always exist. But a familial plight can keep us moving to secure our nation so that we may prove once again that we are the best and strongest nation in the world. Not agreeing is fine. We can agree to disagree. But once decisions have been made, it is time to stand together, and make the best thing happen.

The Declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... Americans together should all recognize this right. No longer must we struggle or fight. No longer must we bow down or turn away. No longer do we have excuses for not being able to succeed. No longer do we lie down and bear no faith because of our history. No longer must we feel shunned because of the color of our skin, or the texture of our hair, or the hue of our eyes, or the sound of our voice.

We are still climbing upward… but from this point forward, we must climb upward… and do it together. No longer must we fear dreaming big, thinking big, becoming big. We are Big!

Today is the day that we declare our independence—together! God Bless our great nation! God Bless the United States of America!

I Am Not a Crayon!

During a time when we FINALLY have a BLACK man as the frontrunner for one of the two most important political parties in America, we are still living in a period where we have to be excited that we FINALLY have a BLACK man as the frontrunner for one of the two most important political parties in America. I wonder how long it will really take for Americans to just be excited because we finally have someone who is excited about us. Angry enough to make change for us. Search for equality for us. Lower gas prices for us. Strengthen educational goals for us. Decrease poverty for us. Increase jobs and lower the rates of foreclosures for us. And hopefully, while he is at it, he will do something about those taxes!

I was reading in the news the other day where they were saying that because we had a BLACK man running for President, that White supremacist groups were standing up and taking notice… saying that if he won that would supposedly mean that they had to take action to TAKE BACK THEIR COUNTRY!! How profoundly sad is it that we have to compete for the very soil that we were born on. OMG… well, if it helps… Obama is BLACK and White. Oh yes, he's a Brother to us all. Good reason to not look at the color of his SKIN… but the content of his Character. Because this man is about equality and change for everyone—not just BLACKS. His intent is not to stand up just for BLACK people but for AMERICANS!

Don't we feel insulted because we are referred to as beautiful BLACK Americans – as opposed to beautiful Americans? I am a Queen. Not because I am BLACK. But because I am a WOMAN. I am Nubile (uh yeah, look that word up). Not because I am BLACK. But because I have descended from the soils and wombs of women before me that have moved through a path that has me destined for GREATNESS. I remember I had a friend who told me that I wasn't BLACK enough. A part of me wanted to pull out that little "BLACKness" that she claimed I was lacking, and show her just how BLACK I was. Instead, I chose not to react with such negativity and to show her my more dignified BLACK side. My insult back to her was just as insulting as the insidious comment that she made to me. Not only was it probable—it was definitely—the least intelligent thing anyone has ever said to me. I am not defined by the color of my skin. Thanks to me, BLACK people aren't looked at solely as hood rats. BLACK people can be viewed as intelligent human beings that actually have something to offer—not only the local community, but also the country and the world. BLACK people can be viewed to have dignity and class, humility and grace. Who are you to judge me by the color of my skin? Aren't we running this same race? I watched a video this morning of two young BLACK children that could be no more than 6 or 7 and they were dancing as if they were getting paid for their eroticism. The outrage over this proves that not everyone behaves this way or finds this behavior tolerable. However, the fact that this video was even made shows that there are some individuals out there that find racial degradation something to be proud of.

I am angry. I am BLACK. I am a woman. I am an ANGRY BLACK WOMAN. But it's not because I am BLACK. It's because when you look at me, that's all you see. You want to see how I represent my race. You want to see how ethnic I am. You want to see how my personality "matches" my kinky hair. And because I am light-skinned, obviously I am multi-ethnic. You don't ask how am I representing my family's other cultures. Just the one that causes my pigment to have a little more color. As a matter of fact, it's not even the cultures that you are observing but it's the color of my skin. But get to know me. Maya Angelou said that I am a phenomenal WOMAN… Not because I am BLACK… but because I am a woman who just so happens to be BLACK.